Once upon a time, there was a man called Bill.

Bill had a dog, and it was called Jeremy. The dog didn’t have a name when he got it. He didn’t give it the name Jeremy - someone else did. Jeremy wasn’t a very unusual looking dog. In fact, he looked a lot like any dog anyone else would own. He was the kind of dog you would see if you walked down the street and there was a man there in a raincoat, walking their dog in the park, or a mummy and a daddy trailing their dog on a lead behind them while they took their children for a walk.

But Bill had a terrible secret. Bill hated Jeremy. This made Bill feel bad, because it’s a terrible thing to hate someone, but it’s especially terrible to hate someone you’re supposed to look after. You must be thinking, “poor Jeremy! Imagine having an owner who hated you!” Whenever Bill felt angry towards Jeremy, it only made him feel angry with himself afterwards. Then he would say to himself that he didn’t want a dog in the first place. He hated looking after his dog. He hated feeding him. He got irritated with the way he would always dribble on the carpet or tread mud everywhere, and he hated clearing up after him whenever he made a mess. And Jeremy did make a mess a lot of the time. But that’s what dogs do. It’s not their fault.

The biggest reason for Bill why he hated his dog so much was because everyone else loved him. Jeremy the dog couldn’t do anything wrong as far as they could see. Sometimes Bill would go over to see one of his friends, and they would sit down and have a nice cup of tea or watch television or eat their dinner together. Jeremy would always be very well behaved. He would sit by Bill’s feet and fall asleep, not making a noise. He would be very quiet. But in the end, Jeremy would always wake up, and he would be excited because he was somewhere he had never been before, and he would want to play. Sometimes he would leap onto Bill’s friends and lick their faces and make them play with him. Bill’s friends would always laugh it off. They said they didn’t mind. “It’s fine,” the would say to Bill. “Don’t worry about it. He’s just having a bit of fun.” And then they would love Jeremy all the more - the silly excitable dog who didn’t know what he was doing.

And the more they loved Jeremy, the more Bill hated him. Sometimes Bill thought that the only reason they would invite him over for a nice cup of tea, or to watch television or to eat dinner was so that they could see Jeremy again. Maybe they just liked Jeremy because he made them laugh. As far as Bill was concerned, Jeremy ruined everything. He would always ruin everything. Sometimes Bill would be about to say something important, and Jeremy would wake up and want to have fun with whoever he was with.

But do you know the real reason that Bill hated Jeremy? I don’t think even Bill knew what it was. Do you remember I said that someone else gave Bill’s dog the name Jeremy? Well, this someone else used to live with Bill. She was a lady, and Bill loved her very much. She thought it was strange that Bill would have a dog and not give it a name, so she gave Bill’s dog a name. She called it Jeremy. She said the name Jeremy was a funny name for a dog, and Bill agreed, and then they would both laugh about it.

You see, Bill was not the kind of person who would laugh a lot. Sometimes he would pretend to, like when he was round with his friends drinking tea, or watching television or eating dinner. Even though he didn’t feel like laughing, it was easier to pretend to laugh with his friends, because otherwise his friends might feel bad. They might even think that he didn’t really like them. But this person made Bill laugh a lot. They laughed together everyday, and it was always all about just her and him and their dog they called Jeremy. They would take Jeremy out for walks together, or play with him at home, feeding him and stroking him, and doing all the things you do with a dog you love. Bill was happier than he had ever been in his life.

But one day, Bill woke up all alone. His lady friend was gone. She wasn’t in his house - all that was there were just her things and Jeremy, asleep in his basket.

As soon as Jeremy woke up he started leaping about Bill as he had always done, wanting more fun like they always had when she was there. But Bill didn’t want to have fun. Bill was upset because she wasn’t there. So when Jeremy didn’t stop jumping and leaping onto him, Bill would become very cross with him. But Jeremy wouldn’t understand. Jeremy was just a dog.

The days would go by, and still she did not come home. Bill missed her very much. Sometimes he was so upset he wasn’t sure what he was feeling. He knew that he still loved her, but he was so confused because she wasn’t there - because she had just disappeared - that he thought that she didn’t love him. Wouldn’t you think that too? I think that most people would. He thought that she might come back - that she had just gone out to the shops to buy some tea, or something for dinner, or something for Jeremy to eat or play with.

Because he thought this, he kept all of her things where they were. He thought that she would be cross with him or upset if she came back and found out that he’d put all her things away. Wouldn’t you be cross if you went out to the shops and came back to find that someone had put all your things away while you were gone? I think that most people would. This is certainly what Bill thought. Bill was a very thoughtful person. She had always told him that he thought too much. So this is why he thought he should leave everything exactly where it was, so she wouldn’t be cross with him or upset when she came back.

But she never did come back.

So Bill started to feel very angry that he was all alone and didn’t know why. But he wasn’t sure who he was angry with. He couldn’t hate her because he loved her so much. So for a long time Bill hated himself instead. He thought that it was his fault she had disappeared, and so there must be something wrong with him. He thought that he had made her go away. Bill thought he must be a very bad man indeed to make someone want to go away like that. In his head he thought about everything he had said to her before he last saw her. He thought about what he had said so much that he would even dream about it at night. He thought he must have said something to make her go away, and he got more angry at himself because he couldn’t think of what it was. But you can’t stay angry at yourself for very long. You can’t hate yourself forever, because you can’t really live if you really hate yourself.

So Bill started to hate Jeremy, because he couldn’t hate her and he couldn’t hate himself. Isn’t that unfair? Isn’t that sad? “Poor Jeremy,” you must be thinking - “it’s a terrible thing to be hated so unfairly by the person you belong to.” But, maybe, some of you are thinking “Poor Bill” too. Bill hates his dog because he let someone else give it a name they could share together, forever. And then that person disappeared, and Bill couldn’t share the name with anyone anymore. Now Bill is just lonely. Everyday the mere mention of Jeremy’s name, and in time everything about the dog himself, would remind Bill of someone else. Someone who had made him feel whole and complete. Someone who was now gone.

Bill still takes Jeremy out for walks. He plays with him and lets him have his fun. He brushes his hair when it needs brushing and feeds him when he needs to eat. But Bill doesn’t enjoy any of it. It’s just something that he has to do now. It’s just something that needs to be done. And he gets angry at Jeremy for wanting to play when Bill doesn’t want to play anymore, or jumping on his friends because Bill thinks that dogs should only do those things in their own homes. They shouldn’t do them with just anyone, anywhere.

Sometimes Bill also thinks that Jeremy knows that he hates him, and that he is ashamed of him. That maybe Jeremy knows he wishes he wasn’t there. Sometimes he thinks that Jeremy hates him too because of it. He thinks that Jeremy too is wishing that she will come back, so Jeremy can have someone to play with him who really loves him. When this happens, Bill gets scared that there will never be anyone else who he can share Jeremy with. He gets frightened that it will just be the two of them, forced to stay together in Bill’s little house, with all her things still left all around it, hating each other more and more, and forced to stay together only by the bitter growing space between them.

It is a very sad and terrible thing to hate your own dog.