I have just decided that words are an inefficient medium to properly convey the rapidity of concepts and images that flit around in my brain.

I am henceforth going to communicate through animal noises, rapid hand gestures and intent facial expressions. I might even use a paintbrush or drumstick too.

At the moment I feel WHEEEEE! stam stam STAM. Brrog brrog. brrog. brrogggggg. tittletacktoe totum nee nee pang pang vwOWWwwm. vvvrrrrrRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. [ruffles hair maniacally with fingertips, scrunching up face] Doggie cakeus. [Makes noise like a melancholy dolphin] Fhanstnap.

Yeah, that was rubbish. See? Words just don’t work anymore. They should be upgraded or given a sabbatical or something. Or be made redundant. Everyone else I know is being made redundant at the moment. “Thank you for your tireless contribution to civilisation. I’m sorry but you’re just not up to the job anymore - we need something that can keep up with the big important thoughts of the highly mobile lifestyles of the twenty first century. Here’s a gold watch and a book about Dolly Parton. Please now leave my idiom.”
“Idiom!”, Words sobs on his way out, clutching his gold watch and book about Dolly Parton. “I gave you that!”
“Henceforth ‘Idiom’ shall be known as “kHAA! Bram ZWAH! [puts cake on head].”

We should all instead talk to each other through haircuts and smiles, big coats, stripey purple tights and loud shrieks and humming noises.

I wish I had a job that would let me dye my hair every day or week or paint my face. And let me dress in long coats with shirts that have big sleeves meant for cufflinks.

I find it so hard to properly express myself at the moment.