When I first read the following it profoundly affected me.

There are times, such as now, when I still pick it up and read it, over and over. It’s surely one of the most bleak and horrific letters ever written. But why do the words bring a sort of comfort, albeit damp and gnawing? Maybe comfort is the wrong word.

Perhaps it’s simply the frustration, the hopelessness, and yet the indefatigable effort to do something about it, even if it is ominously final and fatal. Perhaps it’s the familiarity of each line, bleak and plain though they may be, and their struggle to give form and expression to a mind that has become incapable of it. Perhaps it’s simply because in her attempt to explain her hopelessness, the very act of writing it is a sort of manifestation of hope.

Putting order to chaos is, fundamentally, a very human endeavour. Yet all human endeavour can only come to one thing. That’s the tragedy of it all, and the brilliance at the same time, because every day is a stance against the inevitable. Even the smallest act - even our final words - is about making our mark against fate.

This is a war.

I feel certain that I am going mad again. I feel we can’t go through another of those terrible times. And I shan’t recover this time. I begin to hear voices, and I can’t concentrate. So I am doing what seems the best thing to do. You have given me the greatest possible happiness. You have been in every way all that anyone could be. I don’t think two people could have been happier till this terrible disease came. I can’t fight any longer. I know that I am spoiling your life, that without me you could work. And you will I know. You see I can’t even write this properly. I can’t read. What I want to say is I owe all the happiness of my life to you. You have been entirely patient with me and incredibly good. I want to say that — everybody knows it. If anybody could have saved me it would have been you. Everything has gone from me but the certainty of your goodness. I can’t go on spoiling your life any longer.

I don’t think two people could have been happier than we have been.