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2006

Tuesday 2nd January, 2007

In assorted images…

Tabs, cunningly concealed in the bird table

Calves liver, fava beans, fried shallots, french beans and a nice Rioja

The embarrassingly teenage wallpaper on my phone

Why would someone sell severed dolls' legs?

The Canadian, taking great delight in putting on his shoes

A company just for transporting bananas. Suspicious, much.

Mr James Lark, looking pensively at a candle

The last thing you expect to see when you bite into a Cadbury's cream egg is a bum

A lion's arse in Trafalgar Square. Matt and I often used to sit on this very lion at the end of a night out, years ago.

If you can name the film, you win nothing.

The Blond Diplomat looks for gay porn featuring big words in Waterstones

Ghandi in Tavistock Square, being cleaned by a bald asian man with glasses.

The Canadian in a flat cap in The Black Cap

Beth loves talking on the phone with a bag on her head

Goodbye Murbles, take good care of yourself now

Two lesbians seated beside Ghandi in Tavistock Square

Prat still life - another keepsake of a timeplace now gone

This wall is not The National Lottery, as it so claims

This blur was meant to be a picture of Howard Road, E17 for Jonio

London, towards St Paul's from The Golden Jubilee Bridge

Another keepsake from The Canadian's kitchen

A scary looking man and his stoned-looking Cynthia-esque wife

People actually queueing at a bus stop. I love Highgate.

A Polish woman in The Yard who looked a bit like Billie Piper.

Little Blond Diplomat, where are you going?

If you're going to sell something on Ebay for twice the price you bought it for, it's polite to at least take the Scope sticker off the back

Maple leaves, the colours of a strawberry sundae

• Ben's pictures at 1:04 am • 5 Comments

Patrick Wolf, Union Chapel, 19th December

Thursday 21st December, 2006

“Ben, this is going to be one of the most superb gigs in the history of music. You will enjoy because it’s impossible not to…”

All pictures taken from the magic position of the front row.

Video footage here

• Ben's pictures at 12:54 am • Comments Off

Amazing what you find looking for spinach muffins

Sunday 10th December, 2006

If you look very closely, you can just see the little dribble of wee running down her leg as she tries to stay calm.

Thank you, Beth.

• Ben's pictures at 2:49 pm • 2 Comments

Dragon fruit

Saturday 2nd December, 2006

Isn’t it wonderful?! So plump and bright and jolly and garishly alien!

I should eat this for breakfast more often.

• Ben's pictures at 2:47 pm • Comments Off

Domestica

Thursday 9th November, 2006

“We don’t talk anymore.”
“It’s not you, it’s me.”

“Er… morning. What was your name again?”

“I never meant to hurt you.”

“You answer the phone.”
“No, it’s your turn to get up.”

“How many times have I told you kids?”

“What if someone hears us?”

“He’s never worked late before.”

• Ben's pictures at 12:33 pm • 5 Comments

I Want One

Saturday 4th November, 2006

There is no joy sweeter than making baby Katie smile.

• Ben's pictures at 4:10 pm • 1 Comment

Scary Dinosaurs

Friday 3rd November, 2006

Scary dinosaurs. Scary dinosaurs.

What kind of pussy gets scared by dinosaurs that look like these?

I’ve seen more scary things growing on a butternut squash.

• Ben's pictures at 10:02 am • 3 Comments

Florence

Monday 30th October, 2006

Images from the most disastrous holiday in recent history are now available for public perusal:

We laugh about it now.

• Ben's pictures at 8:35 pm • Comments Off

A slow day in the M&S advertising department

Wednesday 25th October, 2006

“Just say what you see.”

• Ben's pictures at 3:46 pm • Comments Off

As the Summer of 2006 dribbles into what is now becoming known as Big September, and The Crap is forever consigned to the bottomless pit of Ben’s miscellaneous technology drawer, we are left with these few images of the past few months…

Filthy Chavs! A person who shall remain nameless loves the trashy porn

Andy, my best friend from school, returns from the dead after almost a ten year absence

Winners of the Darcus Howe and June Sarpong lookalike competition celebrate at The Black Cap in Camden

A tear in the sky. Either a gateway to another dimension, a temporal Nexus or Fate's illustration for a short story I wrote years ago called 'The Frog and The Ribbon'

The Canadian pretending to have a knob for a head again

Little One plugging away on the magnificent octopus

Another exhibit at the Science Museum, this one to The Voice of Reason:

This made me make a naughty schoolboy laugh

A picture of Ben looking like a twat, to keep La Dentonne company at work

The Canadian is worried about his lifeline

Shazam on a Camden High Street newsagent's sign

Evidence pointing to the presence of La Dentonne and Mr Leto

I have no idea who this is. I think it's Beth, but I can't be sure

Calvin prepares for the horror of Easyjet in a regulation hand-luggage carry case

La Dentonne at the bar, my favourite place for my friends

• Ben's pictures at 10:40 pm • Comments Off

Wolf

Sunday 10th September, 2006

Addendum:

Dear Mr Wolf, imagine my surprise when I today discovered I could have easily obtained a job for one evening working your personal dressing room on the 1st of October at The Zodiac, Oxford, but am unable to attend because, yet again, I am on F***ING HOLIDAY…

Would anything else like to announce its taking place during this week? Perhaps Kirsty MacColl and Cass Elliot might like to come back from the dead for one night and put on an impromptu concert in my garden? Or perhaps Faber or Pengiun might like to offer record advances to anyone called Ben who’s writing a novel? Or why not go the whole hog and have a police box materialise in my living room with the keys left in the lock?

Bitter? Frustrated? Spoilt and throwing a temper tantrum? Goodness, no. What on Earth makes you think that?

Only a true Brit could complain about having to go on holiday.

• Ben's pictures at 12:46 pm • 2 Comments